The Random Short Stories of Haruhi Suzumiya
by AmyElizzabeth
Summary: i made these 2 years ago and forgot to upload them As the title says, they are random. Beware of OOC-ness! please review!


SHORT STORY#1

AN: Beware of major OOC-ness in my stories 

Sasaki's mental ward-break

SASAKI'S POV

"Okay. Bring 'the stuff.'" I grumbled into my cellphone, which, for some reason, I was allowed to have in a mental ward. I didn't even know what 'the stuff' was, but it sounded like something you'd say if you were trying to get out of this place.

"W_hat___stuff__?" Kuyou stuttered through the pay phone. Kyouko was on the other line with HER cellphone, because she's just cool like that and we just had to include her.

"I don't know. Something cool. That can help me out." Gosh you can't talk to her, too spacey. Too many spaces. So annoying. Luckily, Kyouko knew what I was talking about.

"She wants nothing. It just sounds cool." Exactly.

"___Oh___" That sums it up.

Later, I WAS SAVED!!! No, not really. Actually, they got stuck too. Only because when they got here, Kyouko yelled, "HEY WE IS HERE TO BREAK SASAKI OUT OF THIS PSYCHO PATH WORLD IF THAT'S OK!!!" And then, she got put in here too. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. These girls may know about time-travel and being some alien from the Sky Canopy Entity that's rivals with the Data Integration Entity, but, when it comes to serious stuff, like spaghetti and mental breaks, they are failures. Luckily, I had Kyon's cellphone number. This is how the conversation went.

Me: Hey. I need you to break me out of the ward.

Kyon: No.

Me: Damn.

He hangs up.

Actually, getting out was easy. I never realized I could just open up the cell door, say 'Bye' to the watch people, and leave. But apparently I can do that. Cause I just did.

FIN

SHORT STORY #2

THE RANDOM DREAM

HARUHI'S POV

(Note: if you haven't read books 3 and 4, then you won't get my references. A good place to read the books is BakaTsuki. Look it up on Google.)

I was running. In where, you ask? Not sure I know myself. But I was scared, I guess. HE wasn't with me. Who's he, you ask? Not sure I know myself. But he's a close friend of sorts, I guess. After running for what seems like forever, I find light. I jump into it. Does this mean I'm dead? Probably. Wait…nope. Still alive. Anyways I…WOAH! I'm in the middle of my old Junior High School! Awesome…Oh, hell no! Mikuru is NOT sleeping! Lazy little girl…Wow. This sure looks familiar…Why? Well, in dreams, everything is familiar. But this was like…A distant memory. Ooh, look! There I am! There I am! And so young! I looked good for a 12-year-old. And-wait? Who's that by me? It's that one boy…oh…John Smith. I remember him! His semi-deep voice and stuff! But his face…Why can't I remember his face? Wow, this sure is weird, seeing a memory only I'm literally watching it. I watched as the younger version of me asked this John a question.

Lil' Me: Who's that girl?

John: That's my sister. She has a sickness, where she falls asleep at random times.

But-wait? Isn't that Mikuru? SO MIKURU ASAHINA IS RELATED TO JOHN SMITH??? No…It's just a dream…

Lil' Me: Hmph.

Was I seriously this stubborn? Awesome

Lil' Me: What's your name?

John: John Smith

Lil' Me: Are you an idiot???

Wow. I actually remember this. I must've not been paying attention, because the next moment, they were gone. But, suddenly, I saw John again. This was my chance. I rushed over to him, but stopped midway when he looked into an alley way. Dude, you're going to get mugged. But he cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled, "Take care of the John Smith who would shake the world!" What???

I followed this John boy over to a bench. HOLY CRAP IT'S AN OLDER VERSION OF MIKURU!!!

Mikuru: Did you see Haruhi?

John: Yes! We have to get to Nagato's house before it's too late.

Nagato? As in, Yuki Nagato? What the heck is going on here???

Mikuru: What did you say to Haruhi?

John: I told her to take care of the John Smith who would shake the world.

Mikuru: Good enough. Let's go!

Yeah! I'm going to stalk you guys!

They got to Yuki's house in record time. Wow.

Yuki: …Who are you?

John: Nagato, you have to listen! *explains story*

Yuki: … I see.

Mikuru: Will you help us, Nagato-san?

Yuki: …

John: Please, Nagato! I know this is an alternate universe, but you have to believe us!

Yuki: …This is not the alternate Yuki. The alternate version of me is still in the Literary Club Room. Yes. Kyon-kun, Asahina-san, I will help you both.

KYON-KUN??? WHAT??????? Yuki glanced over at me. Wait. I'm watching a memory…Right? Oh no. I'm so confused. Yuki looked over at me and said, "You two should explain all of this to Miss Suzumiya."

John turned around. His eyes were HUGE! He's probably scared. Why?

"Why are you scared, Kyon? I'm Haruhi, remember?" Well, duh, he remembers. In case he forgot for a second. Miku-chan looked over at me. She gasped.

"M-Miss Suzumiya…Why are you here!" She demanded.

"It's my dream…Isn't it?" Confused, confused. Everyone just stared at me. Yuki shook her head. Miku-chan fainted. John…

"John!" I barked. He didn't seem so surprised that I yelled at him. The convo went like this:

Me: What's your name?

Him: John Smith.

Me: Bullshit.

Him: Hey, now.

Me: Can I guess your real name?

Him: WTF?

Me: KYONKICHI!!!

Him: WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Yeah. Shortened: Kyon.

Everyone was like…What?

Since no one heard me, I jumped up and yelled, "KYON'S REAL NAME IS JOHN SMITH!!!"

"That's nice, Miss Haruhi. Sit down." Sit down? Where to? I looked around. Wait-I'm in our classroom… I glanced in front of me. Kyon was staring at me like 'What are you thinking? Sit down!'

Man, I was embarrassed…Why were my eyes tearing? Well, I ran out of the room and cried. I know I was being maybe a little over dramatic, but I hate getting embarrassed like that. I mean, how am I supposed to just walk out like that and not think it's stupid?

John-no wait. KYON- runs out of the classroom.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, stupid! Leave me alone!"

"Gee, I was just trying to help you! If you don't want my help, just say it! Stop being a bitch all the time!" Whoa. He was angry. Awesome. Little did I know, the door was still open, and everyone was watching.

"I'm not being a bitch…HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME!" I felt hot tears fall out of my eyes. I slapped him. It went in slow motion. Pretty cool. For the class, that is. Everyone was dead silent, wanting to see what happens next. Bastards. I want my privacy.

"Hey guys this isn't a movie theater so stop looking!!!" I could see the red in my words.

**Kyon then pucnhed the door. Everyone sorta' just died right there. He leaned in, and kissed me. I just stood there. For one, he just killed our class. 2, HES FLIPPIN KISSING ME!! I heard clapping. Apparently, the class wasn't dead. Shocker.**

**"OH MY GOD STOP CLAPPING!" Kyon yelled. Oops. The class did die.**

**FIN**


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